I think I'm like most men, in that we (not very smartly), would just rather not know. The secret truth is that I've never been to the dentist. If I *have* been, though, it must've been when I was just a lad, without free will. After I got free will, though, I chose to avoid Ye Olde Tooth Mangler.
Now that I've got a job with dental benefits, however, it was time to do a check-up. Well, I was goaded into it. It's amazing how many people care about you when you think about it, isn't it?
I was recommended to Dr. M, as he was very good, nice, used the newest, high-tech-est equipment, and was totally truthful. That was the party line, anyway. But, I Want To Believe, so off I went last Monday the 20th.
Add this up: 10am plus the dentist. What do you think that equals? Me(bad attitude)^2, of course. Coupled with the thought (more and more becoming a fact, in my mind) that he was going to find some Bad Things in there. It goes back to my I'd Rather Not Know philosophy. I know that's not the best way to live, but it's worked most of my life.
I ended up paying about $44 for the time the assistant X-rayed my mouth, the dentist traced the widths where my teeth met my gums (with a *very* sharp instrument), and a diagnosis. "You must have very good genes!" the dentist said. You see, even though I've never been to the dentist, Dr. M said I had excellent teeth; a great immune system, too (although RR would disagree. What does he know anyway? He has a TracFone!). Besides a little (normal) plaque buildup, my teeth were as healthy as a horse's.
One problem, though: I had a cavity in my lower-right wisdom tooth. Now, several weeks ago when it was first "suggested" that I visit the dentist, PmD went on about how my wisdom teeth would probably be problematic. Well, the joke's on her because they grew in just fine, no problem. But I have a big-ass cavity in one, and they should come out. Joke's on me.
Oh, well, my insurance would cover most of the cost; the dentist was good; it would be quick. So I had a tentative appointment for December 28th. So soon? Yes, because I wanted to spend some of that sweet 2010 dental plan money I had. Then when The Future (2011) arrived, I'd have my full amount again. The next day, however, I was called by the dentist's office and told that that last and only slot he had available was in two days (Dec 23). At 7am. Seven. AM. I joked, "at that hour, I won't even need anesthetic!" hyukyukyuk
I put the day out of my mind until that Thursday. No need to stress myself out, after all. I'm prone to stress-a-thons at times. On that day (really, now, how can you call it a "day" when you have to wake up at 5:30am [more like 5:10 cuz of nerves] and the moon and stars are *still* out?!), PmD was my ride. She's so cool that they'd suffer with me at that hour, and be bored for the 1 - 2 hours this thing would take. We drove there (about 22.5 miles as the Google Maps flies) and got to the place with 20 minutes to spare. I took time to put my affairs in order during that trip; I bequeathed my cat to her, "just in case."
We went inside; I payed for my part of the operation (one of the super-cool and high-tech X-rays would not be covered by my insurance) and then waited. Soon I was taken to back and had said super-cool and high-tech X-ray aimed at my face. It kind of spun around, too. I guess that's why it added $300 to my out-of-pocket expense.
I went back to the waiting room for a bit.
Eventually I was taken to the operating place (the same chair where I was a couple of days ago, where I got my first-ever dental exam) where I had to remove my jacket; where I had the blood pressure cuff and heart monitor put on. (At this time, PmD tells me she was back in the car. She's got her own adventure to tell, of what happened during my surgery, but you'll have to read *her* blog!)
By now the gravity of the situation started to get to me, and my body temperature was dropping. I'm not ashamed to admit I started shivering and asked for a blanket. Two of them!
I had an intravenous dose of Happy Juice administered; but the dentist said my veins were not cooperating. So I got another dose, this time in the muscle. "It'll take longer, but it'll do the trick." After chilling out all this time with my eyes closed, and not really feeling the effects, I opened my eyes, to see the nurse hovering over me, intently. Did you ever see "Silent Hill?" Did you ever play the "Silent Hill" games? It was like that, but with less freaky nurses coming at me, drenched in blood.
It had been about forty-five minutes, and we were about to get under way. I didn't feel like Jimi Hendrix; I didn't feel like I could kiss the sky yet. I asked the dentist, "how do we know it's working?" "By the way the patient speaks *chuckle*" he replied.
Soon he was working me over with his medieval tools. He told me at one point, "you're going to hear a few noises." *the sounds of bones breaking* "Like that!"
I could hear it, but felt nothing. Just a gentle tugging.
I don't think I ever went completely asleep during the surgery. I'm just *that* tough!
After it was all over (it felt very, very short), PmD was brought in (I wouldn't have to will my cat to her, after all!), and the doc talked about how well it went. I wanted to say things, but my mouth felt like it looked like Holyfield's ears. I asked for a pen and pad, to help communicate. The doc told me to call if there were any complications. I half-spoke, half-wrote, "if I can't, can my cat do it?" LoL
The drive back was a blur. So was stopping by Kaiser to pick up my meds (although,I *do* remember spending time in the pharmacy's waiting room, dammit). I kind of remember taking the medication at home, and getting into bed.
So this is about to be day three, and I think everything is going well. I'm taking antibiotics every six hours, and Hydrocodone/Ibuprofen once in a while for the pain. There's been very little, actually! The worst was on that day, around 11:30am. My lower lip and chin felt like dead meat, and the empty sockets where killing me. Happy Pills fixed that right up. I haven't been able to eat, very well, though. I've been surviving on protein shakes, soup, and water. I want a frakking In-n-Out burger! Or a slice of Fatte's Pizza!! On the plus side, I'm just about back to the weight I had when I first moved to my new place a year-and-a-half ago.
So, kids, if you want to lose weight, get some sort of invasive surgery done to your mouth.
I've been in my pajamas mostly, online. Sleeping. Watching tv. Sleeping. Doing computer stuff. Sleeping.
We'll see how the next few days play out.
That's my Winter Vacation so far. How's your's?